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Mike Royko on how to celebrate Veterans' Day:

" all local gambling laws should be suspended for the day to permit vets to gather in taverns, pull a couple of tables together and spend the day playing poker, blackjack, craps, drinking and telling lewd lies about lewd experiences with lewd women. All bar prices should be rolled back to enlisted men’s club prices, Officers can pay the going rate, the stiffs."

https://coastalcourier.com/opinion/classic-mike-royko-veterans/