EPILOGUE - THE GREAT RESET: Cayla Spin, Advisor & Official Spokesperson to the President Emeritus

Excerpt from "COVIDsteria: An Oral History of America's Great Reset" - see https://covidsteria.substack.com/p/covidsteria-table-of-contents

I arrived in Washington DC just after the leaves had fallen and the weather was beginning to turn decidedly cold. The Capital region's population had shrunk some 90% during the Great Die-Off, COVID Spring, and the Great Reset launched by the new Administration, who now call themselves Team Freedom.

Everyone remotely connected to the much-reduced federal governing of the country was busily preparing their annual move south to the newly established winter capital in Florida. This new ritual of moving south for the winter ensured Washington DC would become a ghost town until the cherry blossoms began blooming again. That was the signal to return to the Capital for the big annual celebrations honoring the new COVID Spring national holiday and Team Freedom’s Great Reset.  

Cayla had instructed me to go to the Old Post Office Pavilion on Pennsylvania Avenue near the White House. We were to meet at Vlad’s, one of the many new and opulent restaurant-cum-vodka bars serving authentic Russian and Continental style comfort food along with exotic vodkas that had sprung up in the Capital after COVID Spring. 

Usually, Vlad’s would get packed at all hours of the day with Team Freedom officials and official Washington. Non-well-connected patrons would need reservations many weeks in advance. But with most of official Washington still preparing for, on their way to, or already at the new winter capital in Florida, the place was mostly empty when I arrived.

Vlad’s itself was something straight out of a Tolstoy novel. All of the burly waiters and bartenders wore formal military-style dress uniforms and big fur hats. The interior had the appearance of a pre-revolutionary Russian salon. The walls and furniture were all covered in gold gilt, gold trim, or satin damask; crystal chandeliers hung from the ceilings, and all the restrooms had solid gold fixtures. 

On one wall over Vlad's room-long bar, a giant mural depicted the official narrative for the final storming of the Capitol - the President Emeritus gallantly leading the American people over the fences and barricades with a copy of the Bill of Rights in one hand and a megaphone in the other... 

Despite these opulent surroundings, I was apprehensive about meeting Cayla. She had a ferocious reputation and was well known to be fiercely loyal to the newly declared President Emeritus. She was also known for her low tolerance of any hint of criticism or tough questioning from journalists…

Good afternoon and thank you for taking the time to meet me at Vlad’s. You must try the pirozhkis and the borscht with the rye bread here. All of which are the best you will find outside of Russia… [She motions to a burly waiter who comes to our table.]

Igor, could we have two bowls of borscht with rye bread and Vlad’s special pirozhki sampler platter? I hope you are not a vegetarian… [She smiles and looks in my direction.]

No, I am not.

Good, because I am a big meat eater myself. Vlad’s is not the sort of restaurant vegetarians would want to eat! [She smiles again.]

While we await our food, let me begin our conversation with a brief discussion of some key facts about recent events. Then I will discuss Team Freedom’s priorities for our Great Reset to make America great again by building the country back better and fundamentally transform it!  

While COVIDsteria started as a bad Chinese flu, it exposed much of what was wrong with America. Our country’s rapacious elites mistakenly believed that all Americans would just quietly bend over and allow themselves to get endlessly swabbed by them with no pushback whatsoever.

At first, those pushing back were scornfully labeled anti-swabbers or “homophobic racists” who wanted to “kill all the country’s grandmas and marginalized peoples.” They were deplatformed from social media, harassed by government agencies, and prevented from earning a living. When that was not enough to satisfy our rapacious elites, they tried to eliminate all those who stood in their way by conducting a final solution in the form of a violent nationwide purge. 

However, the American people soon launched a pushback under the leadership of our indomitable President Emeritus. This pushback was derisively labeled by the media and our elites as an “insurrection,” “rebellion,” “revolt,” “uprising,” and finally a “siege.”  

In reality, the pushback known as COVID Spring was more like a second American Revolution, War of Independence, or Civil War. Only this time, it was a fight for freedom by the American people led by our fearless President Emeritus against our country’s elites.  

With that fight now over and Team Freedom firmly in charge, America required healing and forgiveness. Since our noble President Emeritus is a magnanimous unifier rather than a divider, he wisely issued the COVID Amnesty and Reconciliation Executive Order. This Order provides a blanket amnesty to everyone in the country. It covers whatever they may have done during the period starting from Christmas Day, when the national lockdown and purges began, right up until midnight of the day COVID Spring ended with the final storming of the Capitol.  

In addition and as part of Team Freedom’s Great Reset, our dauntless President Emeritus has issued the following executive orders:  

• Our Fake News Executive Order protects all Americans from the spread of false and malicious fake news such as Russian conspiracy theories or false accusations of being a Russian agent. Backing up this Executive Order are other executive orders that strengthen our libel laws. 

• Our National Freedom of Speech Executive Order guarantees free speech for all Americans. You may now say or write whatever you want - so long as it does not violate our Fake News Executive Order and our now strengthened libel laws... [She smiles.] 

• Our Urban Reparations and Forgiveness Executive Order further builds on our COVID Amnesty and Reconciliation Executive Order by helping African Americans and other minorities living in urban areas. The Order allows for the efficient legal transfer of unclaimed property in urban areas hit hard by depopulation during the Great Die-Off to the surviving residents of these areas or outside investors. 

Americans are and always will be optimistic and forward-looking people. That is why these executive orders form the foundation for Team Freedom’s Great Reset that will make America great again by building the country back better and fundamentally transform it! 

And now I am happy to take your questions… [She smiles. Our borscht and rye bread arrives. She begins nibbling on the rye bread and eating the soup.]