WARNING SIGNS: Rosie Nguyen, “The Rosa Parks of Swabbing”

Excerpt from "COVIDsteria: An Oral History of America's Great Reset" - see https://covidsteria.substack.com/p/covidsteria-table-of-contents

Unshackled from government and other restraints, the entrepreneurial Vietnamese American community, in particular, has prospered in the wake of the Great Die-Off, purges, and the Great Reset. Through hard work and determination, many have quickly rebuilt or expanded their small and medium-sized businesses.  

Among those is nail chain owner Rosie Nguyen. She took some time off from her busy 18-hour days managing her businesses to chat about the incident and its aftermath that helped make her an icon to anti-swabbers... 

Can you tell me what happened at the airport and on the Lagoon Airlines flight that led to you being dubbed “The Rosa Parks of Swabbing” by anti-swabbing activists?

[She flicks her silky black hair back with her long nails and frowns angrily.] My idiot governor had eased the rules for operating nail salons, and there were fewer cases of that Chinese Kung Flu going around. So I felt safe enough to fly to Houston for a nail supplier trade fair to pick up some hard-to-find supplies for my chain of nail salons. 

I had not paid that much attention to the news. I was too busy working 18-hour days seven days a week trying to keep my business alive with all of the stupid lockdowns and ever-changing rules from my idiot governor!

I had heard about an announcement that airport anal swabbing for COVIDsteria would be starting the day I would be flying. However, I also heard about numerous court challenges to the policy, and there would be exemptions for marginalized people like me. 

I was born in Vietnam where my daddy was an army officer who threw Communists out of helicopters during the War. Shortly after I was born, my parents, siblings, and I all had to flee Vietnam as penniless refugee boat people to escape from the Communists. After spending several years in Southeast Asian refugee camps, we were allowed to immigrate and join our other refugee relatives in America. My parents had to work 18-hour days seven days a week in sweatshops just to provide for us.

As a teenager, I learned how to do nails and started working in various nail salons. I eventually saved up enough money to open my nail salon that became a chain of successful salons. But I still needed to work 18-hour days seven days a week operating my business. Given how I came to America as an impoverished Asian war refugee, I naturally assumed that I would fall under any anal swabbing exemptions for marginalized people.

So I get to the airport. As always with Lagoon Airlines, they had just one check-in counter open with a slow-moving line behind it which put me in a bad mood. I finally got to the counter. The first thing the white check-in dude asks me, but not any of the white people in line, was, “Have you visited China recently?” [She growls and frowns.]

Now, why the hell would I have visited China recently? I mean, how much more Vietnamese can my last name be? I am a proud Vietnamese-American, and we all hate China! We especially hate the Commie Chinese! 

And why is it that every white dude always assumes every Asian girl he encounters must be a C***k doll? Or a submissive J*p geisha? Or a dumb a** Korean? Or a Thai massage girl? Or a Filipino mail-order bride? Or whatever his little Asian fetish might be? 

Do you know how annoying it is when some white dude suffering from a bad case of yellow fever starts hitting on me by telling me how much he loves dim sum, sushi, kimchi, or pad thai! I do not eat any of that crap because I am not a C***k doll, J*p geisha, dumb a** Korean, or Thai massage girl! I am a proud Vietnamese-American who eats Pho and bahn mi sandwiches which are better than anything the C***ks, J*ps, dumb a** Koreans, or Thai masseuses eat! [She frowns angrily.]

Now I know how stupid white people always say, “What difference does it make if I mistake you for being Chinese? Or Japanese? Or Korean? Or Thai? Or Filipino? Or some other kind of Asian?” 

I will tell you what difference it makes! [She starts waving a long-nailed finger around.]

I am a proud Vietnamese-American whose daddy threw Communists out of helicopters during the war! We came to this country as impoverished refugee boat people to work 18-hour days seven days a week in sweatshops to make better lives for ourselves! So any white dude with an Asian fetish who mistakes a proud Vietnamese-American girl like me for being some sort of submissive geisha or China doll of their yellow fever fantasies will be in for a big surprise! [She growls and flicks her silky black hair back with her long nails.]

So I told this white check-in dude, “Look buddy, I am not Chinese! I was born in Vietnam where my daddy threw Communists out of helicopters during the war! I am now a proud Vietnamese-American! And no, I have not been to China lately! Nor have I been around any Chinese people because I do not want to get sick with their damn Kung Flu!”

That sure shut him up! [She rolls her eyes and frowns angrily.]

So after I got my boarding pass, I go to the security checkpoint where the lines were moving even more slowly than usual. It was not until after I had removed my shoes and jewelry and had finished going through the body scanner, did I realize what was slowing everything down. That was when a white TSA goon told me, “Ok Ma’am, now I need you to lift your skirt, pull your underwear down, and bend over for me so I can swab you...”

And I replied, “What the hell are you talking about?!!”  

“Ma’am, the new COVIDsteria swabbing mandate just took effect today. All passengers who are not members of marginalized groups must bend over and get swabbed before boarding a passenger aircraft.”

“Oh no!” I told her. “I do not need to bend over for you because I am marginalized! I was born in Vietnam where my daddy threw Communists out of helicopters during the War! We all had to flee the country as penniless refugee boat people, and we spent several years in Southeast Asian refugee camps before coming to America! My parents worked 18-hour days seven days a week in sweatshops, while I now work 18-hour days seven days a week in my nail salons. So I am very much a marginalized person exempted from bending over to be swabbed by you!” [She flicks her silky black hair back with her long nails and frowns angrily.]

“Hmmm... let me speak to my manager about that,” said the white TSA goon.

She then started talking to her white manager and some other white TSA goons who are all shrugging their shoulders with confused looks on their faces… Then they started thumbing through a stack of papers while looking at or reading stuff on their phones… And then the white manager started making a phone call… As usual, none of these government idiots knew or understood any of the stupid policies they were supposed to be enforcing! [She rolls her eyes.]

So finally, I yelled over to them, “Hey guys, I will miss my flight! If that happens, I will be making a call to the Asian Defamation League to tell them you are hassling and discriminating against an Asian-American woman!” [She smirks.]

If there is one thing that I have learned in this country about being a female minority and getting white people to do whatever you want: You just scream racism or sexism! It always works for me when being audited by a white person for taxes! [She smirks again.]

Anyway, the white manager was still on the phone, but he quickly put it down and said something to one of his white TSA goons. That goon came back and told me, “Hmmm... I am very sorry ma’am for the hmmm... delay. You may go and board the aircraft now.” [She smirks some more...]

Of course, I was the last to board the plane, and all the overhead bins close to my seat were full. So I had to store my luggage several rows away from where I was seated.

So now I am seated on the plane. There seems to be another delay because we are still at the gate well beyond the scheduled departure time. But delays are perfectly normal with Lagoon Airlines as they never leave or arrive on time and almost always manage to send any checked-in luggage to the wrong city!

Eventually, the pilot comes on the intercom and makes the following announcement, “I am sorry for the delay, but there seems to have been a misunderstanding that prevents us from being cleared for take-off. Could the Chinese lady please return to the terminal to get swabbed?”

So I started to look around me to see if there were any Chinese seated nearby because I sure do not want their damn Kung Flu! But all I saw were white people in neighboring seats staring back at me because I am Asian! So they probably thought I was the Chinese woman the pilot mentioned! So now my blood is boiling again! [She growls and frowns angrily.]

Then all of a sudden, a white stewardess approached down the aisle, followed by a group of white TSA goons. And I thought, “Good! I hope they remove the Chinese lady because I sure do not want any damn Kung Flu she might have!”

But then the group stopped at my seat, and one of the white TSA goons said to me, “I am sorry, ma’am. There seems to have been a mix-up. You need to step off the plane and get swabbed before the plane can take off!”

“But the pilot said the Chinese lady needs to get swabbed, but I am not Chinese! I am Vietnamese-American!"

"I am sorry for the confusion, ma'am," he replied. "The pilot meant you!"

"But I do not need to be swabbed! I am a marginalized person exempted from swabbing!”

“I am sorry, ma’am,” he replied. “It does not matter if you are Chinese or Vietnamese or some other kind of Asian-American. According to the guidelines for the new mandate, Asians who are not undocumented immigrants, homeless, or felons are not marginalized people! You must come with us and get swabbed. Or you will have to give up your seat to someone already swabbed and waiting in standby!”

“Look, buddy!” I angrily told him. “I was born in Vietnam where my daddy threw Communists out of helicopters during the war! I came to America as an impoverished war refugee! How can I not be considered a marginalized person?!!”

“Are you still an impoverished war refugee or an undocumented alien?” one of the white TSA goons asked.

“No!” I told him. “I worked 18-hour days seven days a week to become a very successful businesswoman with a chain of nail salons! I am also a proud naturalized American citizen who achieved a perfect score on her citizenship test!”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you are not considered marginalized under our guidelines. All non-marginalized passengers on this aircraft got swabbed. Please come with us for your swabbing - it will only take a few minutes. Or you need to give up your seat to someone already swabbed and waiting in standby!”

“Look, fellas," I told them. "If my family and I wanted to bend over and be swabbed by our government, we would have stayed in Communist Vietnam! That is what Communist dictators do to their people! Swabbing is not what the government of a free country does to a free people! Like Rosa Parks before me, I am a proud American who will not be leaving her seat to bend over for you or anyone else. Nor will I give my seat up to someone who did bend over to be swabbed by you!” [She crosses her arms and frowns angrily.]

Before I knew what was happening, they yanked me out of my seat and started dragging me down the plane aisle back into the airport terminal! They did not bother collecting my luggage, which, of course, went missing or got stolen! And the worst part about the whole incident, aside from repeatedly being mistaken for being Chinese, was that I broke one of my nails! [She shakes her head and sighs angrily.]

What was the reaction of the other passengers when they dragged you away?

[She violently flicks her silky black hair back with her long nails and an angry look appears on her face.] All the other passengers started to clap and cheer! And I even heard some of them yell, "Who does that China girl thinks she is?”, “Swab her privileged Chinese ass!”, and “Send her Chinese ass back to China!” I could not believe what I was hearing! I mean, all of those stupid white people thought I was Chinese, and they cheered while the white TSA goons dragged me off the plane! [Her face turns blood red, and she shakes her head violently.]

Look… [She pauses to calm down.] Like Rosa Parks before me, there was a simple reason why I refused to leave my seat to go and bend over for them or give it up to someone who had. I did not want to get mistreated like that! There was an opportunity for me to take a stand to express the way I felt about being treated in that manner. I had not planned to get dragged off that plane and arrested. I had plenty to do running my businesses without having to go through all the trouble I went through. But I knew that the more we gave in and the more we complied with that kind of treatment from the government, the more oppressive it would become for us! [She frowns angrily.]

How did the media treat you after this incident?

[She again violently flicks her silky black hair back with her long nails and another angry look appears on her face.] After I hired a useless white lawyer to sue Lagoon Airlines, the airport, and the TSA, I got asked to appear on the Ostrich News Network (ONN) to be interviewed by that stupid Fredo Ratto. So I go on his show with my white lawyer. The first question that stupid Fredo asked me was, “African Americans are deeply offended when racist white people call you ‘the Rosa Parks of swabbing.’ Do you want to tell these racist white people to stop appropriating and evoking the name of a civil rights icon?”

“But I am ‘the Rosa Parks of swabbing!’” I replied. “Like her, I took a stand for what is right and for my civil rights! It is not right for government goons or for airlines to force people to bend over to be swabbed or to give up their seats to someone who was!”

From the looks on the faces of that stupid Fredo and my useless white lawyer, I could tell that was not the correct answer! [She rolls her eyes.]

So then stupid and now stuttering Fredo added, “The former President hmmm... labeled COVIDsteria a ‘Chinese Flu’ or ‘Kung Flu,’ and is thus hmmm... responsible for increased racism directed towards Chinese people like yourself. Do you blame him directly for the misunderstanding that happened to you on that Lagoon Airlines flight?”

In other words, that stupid Fredo thought I was Chinese! [She shakes her head violently and frowns angrily.]

So before my useless white lawyer could open his mouth, I angrily responded, “Look Fredo, I am not Chinese! I do not want their damn Kung Flu either! I was born in Vietnam where my daddy threw Communists out of helicopters during the War! We arrived in this country as impoverished refugees to escape from Communism. But now I am a proud Vietnamese-American and very successful businesswoman with a chain of nail salons because I worked 18-hour days seven days a week to get where I am today without any help from the government, who are always meddling in my businesses! I do not understand what the former President has to do with what happened to me on that flight! The stupid anal swabbing policy is a policy of the new regime – not the previous one! I would not have flown had I known that I was not considered a marginalized person and would need to bend over to get anal swabbed by government goons before boarding!”  

And once again, from the looks on the faces of that stupid Fredo and my useless white lawyer, I could tell that my answer was not the one they wanted to hear! [She rolls her eyes.]

After my useless white lawyer tried to “explain” my answer better, that stupid and stuttering Fredo then asked me, “Given the hmmm… increased amount of hate in this country directed against Asian-Americans thanks to the racist policies of the former President, hmmm… I am sure that you and many Asian-Americans you know have been the subject of repeated white racist attacks!”

I immediately thought, “What the hell is this stupid Fredo blathering about, and what does the former President or white racism have to do with what happened on that plane?” I got dragged off that plane by those stupid idiot TSA goons for a simple reason. They were enforcing a stupid policy that made no sense from the stupid new regime that I had not even voted for! [She rolls her eyes again.]

So I quickly responded by saying, “What white racist attacks against Asian-Americans like me? I do not know of any white racist attacks against any Asian-Americans! I am aware of many violent assaults and robberies committed against many Asian-American small business owners by African Americans who think we are all easy targets carrying lots of cash around. It has only gotten worst with the defunding of the police. And now, no one gets prosecuted because white liberals think…”

All of a sudden, the camera lights shut off all at once. The next thing I knew, ONN security goons dragged my useless white lawyer and me off the set and shoved us out the door of the studio onto the street! Not only did my white lawyer promptly quit on me, but I also broke another nail while being dragged out of their studio! [She shakes her head violently and sighs.]

What about Coyote News? Did they talk to you? 

[She rolls her eyes.] After being dragged out of the ONN studio by their security goons, I got invited to appear on Coyote News’ “The Howl!” for a one-on-one interview with Carl O’Vanity. They told me to come extra early. 

So I showed up at the Coyote News Network studio extra early as they told me to do, and I was sitting in the dressing room having makeup put on. The white producer came in, and oh my god, I thought he was a pimp! I mean, he wore a leopard print suit with a big fedora hat and some gold chains around his neck! He even had a pinky ring on one hand! [She rolls her eyes again.]

This white pimp producer looked me over from head to toe like I was auditioning to be one of his working girls! Then he told me, “Honey, that outfit does not fit your China doll looks! But we are going to fix that!” [She growls and violently flicks her silky black hair back with her nails.]

Before I could scream at him that I was not Chinese, they started wheeling in a bunch of racks of Japanese geisha girl outfits! Then he told me, “Now, these outfits fit your China doll looks! Just pick one that suits you, honey!” 

I could not believe what I was hearing and seeing! I am not some sort of submissive J*p geisha girl that white dudes with Asian fetishes and bad cases of yellow fever always fantasize about! So I started yelling at him, “Look buddy, I am not Chinese! Those outfits are what Japanese geisha girls wear, but I am also not Japanese! I was born in Vietnam where my daddy threw Communists out of helicopters during the war! Then we had to flee Vietnam as penniless boat people to spend several years in refugee camps before coming to…”

Before I could even finish giving him a piece of my mind, he just cuts me off by saying, “Suit yourself, geisha! But I think one of those geisha outfits would fit your China doll looks better and would help us sell more bedding or pricey pharma drugs for our advertisers!” 

Then he just nonchalantly sauntered out the door, but I was livid! [She growls and violently flicks her silky black hair back with her nails.]

So they finished putting on my makeup, but there is something like an hour to go before the show even started tapping. I still could not figure out why they had wanted me to come so early.

Then the pimp producer saunters back into my dressing room again and tells me, “Hey geisha, O’Vanity wants to see you in his ‘den!’” [Her face turns blood red and she frowns angrily.]

So I go over to O’Vanity’s “den” and pounded on the door. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind about his white pimp producer! The last thing in the world I wanted was to go on TV and have white people thinking I am a C***k doll, J*p geisha girl, Thai massage girl, or worst, a Filipino mail-order bride! [She frowns angrily.]

O'Vanity told me to come in and to shut the door behind me, which I did. But I swear to god that as soon as I shut the door, he reached under his desk, and I heard a strange clicking sound. It was as if the door to his “den” had locked behind me or something.

And oh my god, this “den” of his! [She shakes her head.]

All the walls had black-and-white photos of half-naked or naked people, and there were mirrors above the desk and leopard skin couches! It looked like the inside of a Little Saigon love hotel or a so-called massage parlor that Thai women like to run next to my nail salons! [She rolls her eyes and frowns angrily.]

O’Vanity then told me to sit down on a leopard-skin couch of his, and he asked me if I wanted something to drink before the show. I said that I would not be drinking anything before going on TV. But that did not stop him from going to his little wet bar and pouring two drinks. Then he placed one of the glasses on the table next to me and said to me, “Rooosieee… Try some of this special sake - my favorite drink to help me relax before a show. I have it specially flown in direct from the brewer in Tokyo.” [She rolls her eyes again.]

Before I could tell him where to stick his sake, he was already seated on the leopard skin couch beside me with a glass in one hand and a vaping device in his other hand. 

Then, while vaping like a schoolboy, he told me, “My producer thinks you can help our advertisers sell more bedding and pricey pharma drugs tonight by appealing to certain types of white males along with the Asian demographic. Depending on how things go tonight, I also think you have what it takes to become a regular Coyote News geisha girl covering anti-swabbing issues along with topics that appeal to Asians! We just need you to look and act the part!” [Her face turns blood red.]

“Look, buddy,” I told him. “I am not a submissive Japanese geisha type of Asian girl! Like I told your producer, I was born in Vietnam where my daddy threw Communists out of helicopters during the war! I will not play the part of some submissive little geisha girl for the titillation of your advertisers or white viewers! I thought I was invited onto your show to discuss what happened to me on that Lagoon Airlines flight...”

“Rooosieee… Of course, we want you to tell your story! But this is the cable news business, and we need to sell bedding and pricey pharma drug ads to as many demographics as possible! Most of our older flyover country viewers would not know the difference between a Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, or whatever Asian girl! As long as our Asian female guests are attractive and act like your typical submissive Asian girl, it does not matter as it will make our advertisers very happy!” And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… [She growls.]

By now, I am dumbfounded with anger! I mean, I have heard a lot of stupid shit from drunk white dudes with Asian fetishes in bars through the years! But I could not believe what this son-of-a-bitch O’Vanity was saying to me! 

Not only that, and all the while he is talked to me, I noticed that he was slowly slithering closer to me on his leopard-skin couch. So I thought, “If you even try putting a hand on me, you will find out the hard way that we proud Vietnamese-American girls are not your typical submissive Asian or J*p geisha girls that white guys love to fantasize about!”

Then he suddenly put his glass of sake down and started talking about how he is a big star and all and how women, especially submissive Asian women, just let him do it… 

And I thought, “What the hell is he talking about when he says that 'women, especially submissive Asian women, just let him do it?' Given how my daddy threw Communists out of helicopters during the war, he better not dare put his hand on my leg!”

Next thing you know and without any warning, he reached under my dress and was grabbing me by the…! [She hisses.]

By the…! [She hisses again.]

I mean, he had me by the…! [She hisses once more.]

And he started whispering to me, “Oh Rooosieee, just be a submissive little geisha girl for me!” [Her face turns blood red.]

I could not believe what I heard coming out of his mouth! [She violently flicks her silky black hair back with her nails and growls.]

Well, I screamed at him, “I’ll show you what sort of submissive little geisha girls we Vietnamese-Americans are!” [She smirks]

I picked up the glass of sake he had conveniently left on the table beside me and tried to break it over his head! I missed, but the contents got all over him and his leopard-skin couch while the glass broke on the floor.

Then I gouged his face with my fingernails, and another one of my damn nails broke! He was lucky that by now, I was down to only three good nails on that hand after my recent encounters with the TSA and ONN security goons! [She frowns angrily.]

Well, that left him in a complete daze! I got up from the now stained leopard-skin couch, fixed my hair and makeup using those ceiling mirrors of his, walked right out of his “den” and the Coyote News Network building, and straight into a taxi on the street…

But I was still in complete shock! I mean, that son-of-a-bitch O’Vanity wanted me to be his submissive little geisha girl, and I broke another damn nail! I felt used, degraded, manipulated, and humiliated! [She growls and shakes her head.]

To make matters worst, I got called and told that I needed to go as quickly as possible to the offices of the Federal Investigation Bureau (FIB). They said they wanted to have an urgent chat with me about the incident on the plane. When I got to their offices, they started interrogating me with the first question from white FIB goon being, "Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of a white supremacist group?" [She rolls her eyes.]

And why do white people always think that all Asians admire white people, white culture, and secretly want to be white people? When white people like you were nothing more than rampaging barbarians wearing animal skins eating raw meat with your bare hands, we Vietnamese had a sophisticated culture wearing silk and eating fine cuisine with chopsticks off porcelain bowls! [She smirks.]

Then the FIB goons started asking me about QAnon of all things. Like most Vietnamese or other Asians, I do not practice any white religions because I am a devout Buddhist! [She smirks again.]

Then they had the nerve to ask me if I was a Chinese dissident who hated the Chinese Communist Party! I told that FIB goon, “Look, buddy, I am not Chinese! I was born in Vietnam where my daddy threw Communists out of helicopters during the war! So no, I do not like China and their damn Communist Party!” [She violently flicks her silky black hair back with her nails and growls.]

After I told them that, the FIB goons then started asking me all sorts of probing questions to find out how much I supported the former President or rather our new President Emeritus, or whatever he likes to call himself now. They knew how most of us Vietnamese-Americans, and especially those of us who own small businesses or had escaped from the Communists as refugee boat people, were all staunch supporters of him or his policies. [She rolls her eyes again.]

Finally, and as if the interrogation could not get any weirder, the FIB goons asked me a series of questions about Russia. They asked if I had ever been to Russia or nearby countries, did I know any Russians, and did I have any Russian customers. I told them that while most of my customers were white, I did not know who might be Russian because all white people look the same to me! [She rolls her eyes and smirks.]

By now, my business and I were deplatformed from social media, and I was getting audited for taxes. When they usually audit me as an Asian-American female running an all-cash business, all I need to do is scream racism or sexism! Then they leave me alone or settle for a token amount to avoid me having to call the Asian Defamation League on them.

Oh, but not this time! They sent, of all people, a Chinese woman to audit me! [She growls. Her face turns blood red again.]

She knew every trick in the book used by Asian-owned all-cash businesses and claimed I owed hundreds of thousands of dollars in back taxes!

Oh, and while all of this was going on, I got contacted by a white lawyer. He was trying to start a class-action lawsuit against that son-of-a-bitch O’Vanity who had wanted me to be his submissive little geisha girl! I guess I was not the only woman he got a little too handsy with on that leopard-skin couch of his in his “den!” The white lawyer said we could negotiate a lucrative settlement out of the network or their insurance company. 

But in the end, I got nothing because the regime shut the Coyote News Network down when they started their so-called quarantines. And since I was born in Vietnam where the Communists have “re-education camps,” I was not stupid about what the regime and the FIB might do to me as I was dubbed “The Rosa Parks of anti-swabbers!” I had to go into hiding!

By now, most of my nail customers had already dropped dead because they took that stupid vaccine. That wrecked my business! Then all of my nail salons got burned to the ground in the ensuing chaos of the Great Die-Off, purges, and COVID Spring. So I could have used a settlement from Coyote News or their insurance company to help me start all over again from scratch! [She frowns angrily.]

But I still cannot get over what happened with that son-of-a-bitch O’Vanity on that leopard-skin couch of his! I mean, he came right out and said he wanted me to be his submissive little geisha girl! [She growls.] 

It is one thing for a horny white dude to grab me by the… [She hisses.]

I mean, I can get over that easy enough as men will always be men – especially horny white dudes with Asian fetishes and bad cases of “yellow fever!” But you better not dare mistake me for being a C***k doll, J*p geisha, dumb a** Korean, Thai massage girl, Filipino mail-order bride, or whatever your little Asian fetish is! And do not even think about coming right out and asking me to be your submissive little geisha girl! [She growls, violently flicks her silky black hair back with her nails, and scowls.]