COVIDsteria + Tales From the Great Reset

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HEALTH ALERT: Top 13 Sudden Adult Death Syndrome Causes
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HEALTH ALERT: Top 13 Sudden Adult Death Syndrome Causes

Gardening, solar storms, sleeping positions, Putin, going to the beach, living under flight paths, sock lines, being a lonely Karen, climate change and the #1 cause of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome.

Citizen Satirist (CS)
Aug 1
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HEALTH ALERT: Top 13 Sudden Adult Death Syndrome Causes
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With the sudden rise of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome (SADS) and as with Monkeypox (see: HEALTH ALERT: Top Ten Ways to Protect Yourself From Monkeypox), I am deeply concerned about the health and safety of all my paid subscribers [NOTE: News from Underground by Mark Crispin Miller has an ongoing post series entitled: “In memory of those who ‘died suddenly’ in…”].

To muddy the waters, there has also been a spat of media stories lately covering all sorts of potential excuses causes to explain the sudden rise of sudden deaths listed by Mark…

To help my readers stay healthy and to un-muddy the waters, I have put together a helpful list of the top causes of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome so you can take appropriate measures to protect yourself and members of your family. Just keep in mind that while I am not a big pharma salesman doctor, neither is Bill Gates. (IF you know of any other potential causes, let me know and drop me a link in the comments section).

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To receive further Sudden Adult Death Syndrome health alerts like this, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

And remember, as with forest fires (and Monkeypox…), only you can prevent Sudden Adult Death Syndrome! Now for the top causes of SADS:


13) Gardening…

“Experts” have found that pollutants in the soil could have a 'detrimental effect on the cardiovascular system'. As with going to restaurants, riding on airplanes and having sex, it’s highly recommended that you now wear a face mask while gardening. [Urgent warning to gardeners as soil ‘increases risk of killer heart disease’]

12) Going to the beach or swimming…

Sharks, jellyfish, rip tides and now Sudden Adult Death Syndrome are among the many hazards to be encountered at the beach these days - meaning it’s far safer to stay home and hang out on a virtual beach within the Metaverse. [In Italy, "at least 11" vacationers drop dead on beaches, while 10 in Britain have "died suddenly" while swimming]

11) Living under a flight path…

The “expert” authors of a recent “study” said noise pollution from transport can lead to stress and inflammation. Stress and inflammation can ultimately lead to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. If you are in a high-risk group or live under a flight path or near noise pollution, consider moving to or joining an Amish community in Amish country until all internal combustion engines are banned. [Do YOU live under a flight path? You may be at risk of a heart attack: Study finds rates are 70 PER CENT higher in noisiest areas]

10) Having sock lines or cankles…

Mild peripheral oedema and having cankles are common, but could also indicate serious heart issues that will lead to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. If you have sock lines or cankles, avoid strenuous activities - like running for President… again… [Warning that 'sock lines' around the ankles could be an early sign of heart disease AND Heart disease risk factor determined by your socks and ankles – signs to spot]

9) Being a lonely older Karen woman birthing person

As if it’s not hard enough being a Karen woman birthing person these days, “research” by “experts” now suggests that lonely older ones could be at risk for Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. In addition, anecdotal evidence also suggests that birthing persons who are allergic to cats are at a much higher risk for SADS. [Lonely older women at greater risk of heart disease, research suggests]

8) Sleeping positions…

“Experts” now say that along with cold and hot weather, the position you sleep in can also increase your risk of blood clots which leads to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. To avoid SADS, sleep as little as possible. Better yet, consider abstaining from sleeping altogether... [Experts Warn Certain Sleeping Positions Could Increase Risk Of Blood Clots & Heart Problems]

7) Falling asleep with the TV on…

“Experts” say it’s not just sleeping positions, but also sleeping with the TV on that can contribute to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. In addition, these “experts” now say late sleepers tend to also have a higher risk for cardiovascular and metabolic disorders that in turn can lead to SADS. [Falling asleep with the TV on could bring early death: study]

6) Skipping breakfast

According to a “study,” people who skip breakfast have a 32 percent higher chance of dying from all causes - including Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. [Heart attack: Does skipping breakfast increase your risk?]

HOWEVER, there are some individuals who should accept the 32 percent risk of dying by skipping breakfast along with lunch and maybe even dinner…

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See the source image

5) Solar storms…

In an approximate 11-year cycle, the sun blasts out charged particles and magnetised plasma that can distort Earth’s magnetic field, which may disrupt body clocks and ultimately affect the heart - causing Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. Avoid solar storms by staying out of the sun by staying home. [Solar storms may cause up to 5500 heart-related deaths in a given year]

4) Caffeinated drinks…

“Expert” Professor Whiteley noted tea – the UK's favourite brew – contains caffeine, "which actually causes you to lose water." Losing water leads to dehydration, which can then lead to blood clots, and ultimately to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. To avoid SADS, you need to stop drinking ALL caffeinated drinks and stick with plain old water. [Blood clots: The nation's favourite drink could make your blood sticky – increasing risk]

3) Vladimir Putin…

Vlad’s invasion of Ukraine has triggered “Putin price hikes” on everything and especially on gas and energy bills. To avoid Sudden Adult Death Syndrome when you pump gas or receive your energy bills, buy an electric car and solar panels. If you can’t afford either, use public transportation and turn off your cooling and heat. This will have the added bonus of sticking it to Putin until NATO and the Biden Regime achieves its goal of regime change in Russia... [Energy bill price rise may cause heart attacks and strokes, says TV GP]

2) Climate Change…

As weather maps get redder due to climate change, “experts” say "wet-bulb" conditions, which occur when relative humidity is above 95 percent and temperatures are at least 88 degrees F, are when heat and humidity can cause otherwise healthy humans to overheat, spontaneously combust and DIE of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. [Scientists Studying Temperature at Which Humans Spontaneously Die With Increasing Urgency]

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1) The elephant in the room…

While most “experts,” like doctors, public health officials, and the mainstream media, are still unable to see or sense it, there is a GIANT ELEPHANT that is almost always present with every case of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. And there is mounting evidence that this GIANT ELEPHANT is the root cause for most, if not ALL, cases of SADS.

IF you see or if common sense tells you there is a GIANT ELEPHANT in the room with a SADS case, just remember to NOT attempt to talk about or bring attention to the pachyderm with those who choose to not see or sense it as that will get you labeled a conspiracy theorist or banned on social media… Stay safe everyone!

COVIDsteria: An Oral History of America’s Great Reset (Table of Contents) is a fictional satire along the lines of a Studs Terkel oral history or Max Brooks' World War Z published as a serialized book on Substack. Also check out our new Tales From the Great Reset series (links to all tales are at the bottom of COVIDsteria’s TofC page) with the latest ones being:

  1. I was a Project Veritas Victim. If it can happen to me, it can happen to you

  2. I am not a groomer. Why inclusive school curriculum needs to cover gender

  3. Welcome to 2030: I Own Nothing, Have No Privacy and Life Has Never Been Better

  4. My Life Working as a Lonely Russian Troll

  5. Willie’s Willie Tells All (Exclusive Interview!)

Click here for a growing list of links to alternative COVIDsteria, RUSSIAsteria and other news/resources.

Don’t forget to check out ALL of “Best” meme posts covering various GREAT RESET psyops or themes [UPDATED JULY 31, 2022]:

COVIDsteria Psyop

  1. Fauci, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 & Part 5 (Has Covid)

  2. Bill Gates, Part 2 (He has the COVID) & Wants to Shut Down Dutch Farmers!

  3. Masks, Mask zombies, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 (Mandate ends) & Part 6

  4. Delta/Omicron (OmiCON) scariants & Part 2

  5. COVID logic (testing, cases and more), Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 & Part 10

  6. Pfizer & Big Pharma

  7. Vaccine logic: What vax'd & unvax'd have in common etc); Vaccine logic from rats, sheep and more, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 (Guess who’s 3 shots were more effective?) & Part 11

  8. Vaccines (general)

  9. Vaccine boosters & Part 2

  10. Vaccine side effects, Part 2 (Justin Bieber) & Part 3 (Sudden Adult Death Syndrome Memes!)

  11. Vaccine passports

  12. Lockdowns

  13. Media propaganda, Part 2 & Part 3

  14. World Health Organization (WHO) + Tedros & Part 2

  15. Klaus Schwab & World Economic Forum (WEF) & Davos

  16. Government, Part 2 & Part 3

  17. COVID censorship & Part 2

  18. COVID “science” & Science & Trust the Scientism

  19. COVID/Vaccine resistance, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 & Part 5

  20. Conspiracy theory

  21. COVID and the elite & Part 2

  22. Australia (the prison continent) & Djokovic’s deportation

  23. Spotify cancels Neil Young & Joni Mitchell cancels herself

  24. COVID Biden/Brandon & Part 2 (Has Cancer + COVID)

  25. Blackface Trudeau gets COVID, HATES honking, Part 3, Part 4 & Part 5 (Gets COVID again)

  26. Meet the (ex-) Health Minister of Belgium - Maggie de Block!

  27. The Best Gavin Newsom is Missing Memes

  28. Sandy aka AOC does Florida & then dates COVID

  29. CNN Discovers Fat People are at Risk for COVID (Plus Brian Stelter Fat Memes)

  30. COVID Christmas (music etc)

  31. Best COVID satire videos of 2021

  32. Satire videos, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (+Ho-mala Kamala and Sleepy Joe Biden), Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 & Part 11

  33. Steve Inman Videos

  34. Awaken With JP Videos, Part 2, Part 3 & Part 4 (Quarantine/Lockdown/2020 Advice)

RUSSIAsteria Psyop

  1. COVID goes missing, Ukraine biolabs, Putin (COVIDsteria slayer) & Part 4 (+biolabs)

  2. Putin invades Ukraine (Feb 28), March 18, April Fools Day, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 (FU is the New FJB), Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12 & Part 13

  3. Mass Formation Psychosis/Putin’s Fault

  4. Ukraine hypocrisy, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 (Russians “attack” everyone), Part 6 (+Media), Part 7 (NAZIs Gonna NAZI), Part 8, Part 9 (Media changes tune), Part 10 (Outsourcing WW3) & Part 11 (Brittney Griner)

  5. Biden & Ukraine, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (Obama’s Last Tango), Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 (Falls of His Bike) & Part 8

  6. Biden-Zelensky-Ukraine corruption, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 & Part 5

  7. Inflation + high gas prices (Putin’s “fault”), Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 (40 Year High), Part 11 (Biden does Riyadh), Part 12 (Redefining Recession) & Part 13 (Testing regime loyalties!)

  8. DuckDuckGo Hypocrisy

MONKEYsteria Psyop

  1. Monkeypox memes, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 ("Here We Come…” To a Gay Rave Near You!) & Part 5 (Official WHO pandemic)

  2. Bill Gates Monkeypox Memes

  3. HEALTH ALERT: Top Ten Ways to Protect Yourself From Monkeypox

Random Great Reset Psyops or Noise

  1. The Best Fed Memes from the "Justice for J6" Rally (How to Spot a Fed)

  2. Best Let’s Go Brandon Videos (#letsgobrandonchallenge)

  3. DefiantLs’ Twitter Ban

  4. HOLLYWOODsteria: Best Oscar and Chris Rock Gets B*tch Slapped Memes

  5. PIGEONgate: Best Biden Gets Sh*t on Memes

  6. TWITTERsteria: Best Elon Musk Buys Twitter Hypocrisy Memes

  7. Mark F*ckerberg (Zuckerberg) & Facebook

  8. ROEvWADEsteria: Best "I Support the Current Thing" Crowd Forgets COVID & Ukraine for Abortion Memes, Best My Body My Choice Memes (Except When it Comes to Vaccines!) & American Corporations Gleefully Join Michael Bloomberg to Tell Employees, Just "Kill It!"

  9. Everything You Need to Know About Dr. Oz Memes

  10. Best Uvalde Police and Mass Shooting Memes (Offensive Humor Warning) & Part 2

  11. ELITE WATCH: Best Nancy Pelosi's Drunk Driving Husband Memes (Plus Nephew Gavin Newsom has COVID)

  12. PRIDEsteria: Best Pride Month Memes, Part 2 (Meeting & exceeding recruiting expectations), Part 3 (Chicken in Every Pot, a Drag Queen in Every School!), Part 4 (Giving Kids the Pride Spirit!) & Part 5 (The FINAL Day to Celebrate!)

  13. Best Boris Johnson Memes (Putin Get's the Last Laugh!)

  14. Best FBI Memes (Kick My Door In and Send Me to the Gulag!)

  15. TACOsteria: Best Jill Biden Thinks Latinos are Breakfast Taco People Memes

  16. BOOTYgate: Best AOC ("My Favorite Big Booty Latina") Lets the January 6th Cat Out of the Bag Memes

  17. PEDOgate: Best Joe Biden as "Pedo Pete" (According to Hunter) Memes

  18. CRAMERsteria: Best Jim Cramer, The Meme of Wall Street, Memes (This Vaxhole Clown See's No Recession!)

NOTE: While we are bombarded with woke propaganda buried into every storyline from Hollywood to fiction literature these days, there is hardly any NON-WOKE satire (beyond the Babylon Bee etc) and/or fictional/satirical writing along the lines of George Orwell, Ayn Rand and the like. And besides, publishers won’t touch such material these days - meaning there is little monetary incentive for such writing…

Please feel free to support this endeavour any way you can with a small donation to keep me motivated and perhaps encourage others to do more non-woke fiction and satirical writing!

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HEALTH ALERT: Top 13 Sudden Adult Death Syndrome Causes
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Unacceptable DebMG
Aug 1

14. Being an extremely healthy Canadian doctor who engages in regular exercise such as jogging or swimming.

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