COVIDsteria + Tales From the Great Reset

Share this post

HEALTH ALERT: Top 13 Sudden Adult Death Syndrome Causes

covidsteria.substack.com
Great Reset Survival Tips

HEALTH ALERT: Top 13 Sudden Adult Death Syndrome Causes

Gardening, solar storms, sleeping positions, Putin, going to the beach, living under flight paths, sock lines, being a lonely Karen, climate change and the #1 cause of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome.

Citizen Satirist (CS)
Aug 1, 2022
28
6
Share

With the sudden rise of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome (SADS) and as with Monkeypox (see: HEALTH ALERT: Top Ten Ways to Protect Yourself From Monkeypox), I am deeply concerned about the health and safety of all my paid subscribers [NOTE: News from Underground by Mark Crispin Miller has an ongoing post series entitled: “In memory of those who ‘died suddenly’ in…”].

To muddy the waters, there has also been a spat of media stories lately covering all sorts of potential excuses causes to explain the sudden rise of sudden deaths listed by Mark…

To help my readers stay healthy and to un-muddy the waters, I have put together a helpful list of the top causes of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome so you can take appropriate measures to protect yourself and members of your family. Just keep in mind that while I am not a big pharma salesman doctor, neither is Bill Gates. (IF you know of any other potential causes, let me know and drop me a link in the comments section).

Leave a comment

Please do yourself, your family, and friends a BIG favor by sharing this post far and wide via email or on social media so we can help keep everyone safe...

Share

To receive further Sudden Adult Death Syndrome health alerts like this, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

And remember, as with forest fires (and Monkeypox…), only you can prevent Sudden Adult Death Syndrome! Now for the top causes of SADS:


13) Gardening…

“Experts” have found that pollutants in the soil could have a 'detrimental effect on the cardiovascular system'. As with going to restaurants, riding on airplanes and having sex, it’s highly recommended that you now wear a face mask while gardening. [Urgent warning to gardeners as soil ‘increases risk of killer heart disease’]

12) Going to the beach or swimming…

Sharks, jellyfish, rip tides and now Sudden Adult Death Syndrome are among the many hazards to be encountered at the beach these days - meaning it’s far safer to stay home and hang out on a virtual beach within the Metaverse. [In Italy, "at least 11" vacationers drop dead on beaches, while 10 in Britain have "died suddenly" while swimming]

11) Living under a flight path…

The “expert” authors of a recent “study” said noise pollution from transport can lead to stress and inflammation. Stress and inflammation can ultimately lead to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. If you are in a high-risk group or live under a flight path or near noise pollution, consider moving to or joining an Amish community in Amish country until all internal combustion engines are banned. [Do YOU live under a flight path? You may be at risk of a heart attack: Study finds rates are 70 PER CENT higher in noisiest areas]

10) Having sock lines or cankles…

Mild peripheral oedema and having cankles are common, but could also indicate serious heart issues that will lead to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. If you have sock lines or cankles, avoid strenuous activities - like running for President… again… [Warning that 'sock lines' around the ankles could be an early sign of heart disease AND Heart disease risk factor determined by your socks and ankles – signs to spot]

9) Being a lonely older Karen woman birthing person

As if it’s not hard enough being a Karen woman birthing person these days, “research” by “experts” now suggests that lonely older ones could be at risk for Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. In addition, anecdotal evidence also suggests that birthing persons who are allergic to cats are at a much higher risk for SADS. [Lonely older women at greater risk of heart disease, research suggests]

8) Sleeping positions…

“Experts” now say that along with cold and hot weather, the position you sleep in can also increase your risk of blood clots which leads to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. To avoid SADS, sleep as little as possible. Better yet, consider abstaining from sleeping altogether... [Experts Warn Certain Sleeping Positions Could Increase Risk Of Blood Clots & Heart Problems]

7) Falling asleep with the TV on…

“Experts” say it’s not just sleeping positions, but also sleeping with the TV on that can contribute to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. In addition, these “experts” now say late sleepers tend to also have a higher risk for cardiovascular and metabolic disorders that in turn can lead to SADS. [Falling asleep with the TV on could bring early death: study]

6) Skipping breakfast

According to a “study,” people who skip breakfast have a 32 percent higher chance of dying from all causes - including Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. [Heart attack: Does skipping breakfast increase your risk?]

HOWEVER, there are some individuals who should accept the 32 percent risk of dying by skipping breakfast along with lunch and maybe even dinner…

img
See the source image

5) Solar storms…

In an approximate 11-year cycle, the sun blasts out charged particles and magnetised plasma that can distort Earth’s magnetic field, which may disrupt body clocks and ultimately affect the heart - causing Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. Avoid solar storms by staying out of the sun by staying home. [Solar storms may cause up to 5500 heart-related deaths in a given year]

4) Caffeinated drinks…

“Expert” Professor Whiteley noted tea – the UK's favourite brew – contains caffeine, "which actually causes you to lose water." Losing water leads to dehydration, which can then lead to blood clots, and ultimately to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. To avoid SADS, you need to stop drinking ALL caffeinated drinks and stick with plain old water. [Blood clots: The nation's favourite drink could make your blood sticky – increasing risk]

3) Vladimir Putin…

Vlad’s invasion of Ukraine has triggered “Putin price hikes” on everything and especially on gas and energy bills. To avoid Sudden Adult Death Syndrome when you pump gas or receive your energy bills, buy an electric car and solar panels. If you can’t afford either, use public transportation and turn off your cooling and heat. This will have the added bonus of sticking it to Putin until NATO and the Biden Regime achieves its goal of regime change in Russia... [Energy bill price rise may cause heart attacks and strokes, says TV GP]

2) Climate Change…

As weather maps get redder due to climate change, “experts” say "wet-bulb" conditions, which occur when relative humidity is above 95 percent and temperatures are at least 88 degrees F, are when heat and humidity can cause otherwise healthy humans to overheat, spontaneously combust and DIE of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. [Scientists Studying Temperature at Which Humans Spontaneously Die With Increasing Urgency]

img

1) The elephant in the room…

While most “experts,” like doctors, public health officials, and the mainstream media, are still unable to see or sense it, there is a GIANT ELEPHANT that is almost always present with every case of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. And there is mounting evidence that this GIANT ELEPHANT is the root cause for most, if not ALL, cases of SADS.

IF you see or if common sense tells you there is a GIANT ELEPHANT in the room with a SADS case, just remember to NOT attempt to talk about or bring attention to the pachyderm with those who choose to not see or sense it as that will get you labeled a conspiracy theorist or banned on social media… Stay safe everyone!

Share

Complete Great Reset Meme Index

BIDENsteria

  • Biden Corruption Memes, Biden Documents Memes, Biden Falling Off His Bike Memes, Biden Ice Cream Memes, Biden PIGEONgate Memes, Dark Brandon Memes, Jill Biden Memes, Joe Biden Memes, Hunter Biden Memes, Let’s Go Brandon Memes & Pedo Pete Memes

BIG TECH, CENSORSHIP & SOCIAL MEDIA

  • Bill Gates Memes, Censorship Memes, Elon Musk Memes, Facebook Memes, Mark Zuckerberg Memes & Twitter Memes

BIG PHARMA, HEALTH CARE & SCIENTICISM

  • Big Pharma Memes, Euthanasia Memes, Fake Science Memes, Health Alert Memes, Health Care Memes, Moderna Memes, Pfizer Memes & Science Memes

CHINAsteria

  • China Memes, Chinese Spy Balloon Memes, COVID Lab Leak Memes & Taiwan Memes

COVIDsteria Psyop

  • COVID Amnesty Memes, COVID Hypocrisy Memes, COVID Lab Leak Memes, COVID Lockdown Memes, COVID Mask Memes, COVID Memes, COVID Propaganda Memes, COVID Satire Videos, COVID Science Memes, COVID Variant Memes, Fauci Memes, Public Health Memes, Tedros Memes & WHO Memes

ELECTIONsteria & POLITICALsteria

  • Abortion Memes, AOC Memes, Boris Johnson Memes, Citizens for Sanity Memes, Donald Trump Memes, Dr. Oz Memes, Election Fraud Memes, Election Memes, Gavin Newsom Memes, GOP Memes, Government Memes, Illegal Immigration Memes, Kamala Harris Memes, Kevin McCarthy Memes, King Charles Memes, Martha's Vineyard Memes, Liz Cheney Memes, Liz Truss Memes, Nancy Pelosi Memes, Paul Pelosi Memes, Political Memes, PayPal Memes, Project Veritas Memes, Queen Elizabeth Memes, Roe v Wade Memes, Ron DeSantis Memes, Social Credit Score Memes, Student Loan Forgiveness Memes & Trudeau Memes

FBI & FEDs

  • Durham Report Memes, False Flag Memes, FBI Hypocrisy Memes, FBI Memes, FED Memes, IRS Memes, January 6th Memes, Mar-A-Lago Raid Memes, Patriot Front Memes & Trump Arrest Memes

GLOBAL WARMINGsteria

  • Dutch Farmer Memes, Earth Day Memes, Gas Stove Ban Memes, Global Warming Memes & Ohio Train Derailment Memes

GREAT RESET & WEF

  • Davos Memes, Great Reset Humor, Great Reset Jokes, Great Reset Memes,

    Great Reset Satire Videos, Klaus Schwab Memes & WEF Memes

GREAT RESET RESISTANCE

  • Canadian Trucker Memes, Conspiracy Theory Memes, Dutch Farmer Memes, Great Reset Resistance Memes, Memer Memes & Memes

GUN CONTROL

  • Gun Control Memes, Mass Shooting Memes, Police Memes & Uvalde Memes

HOLIDAYsteria

  • Christmas Memes, Halloween Memes, Holiday Memes, Memorial Day Memes & Thanksgiving Memes

MEDIAsteria

  • Brian Stelter Memes, CNN Memes, Fox News Memes, Joe Rogan Memes, Media Memes, NPR Memes, PBS Memes, Taylor Lorenz Memes, Tucker Carlson Memes & Washington Post Memes

MONKEYsteria Psyop

  • Monkeypox Memes

PRIDEsteria & PEDOsteria

  • Balenciaga Memes, Bud Light Memes, Dalai Lama Memes, Gender Memes, Groomer Memes, Jeffrey Epstein Memes, Monkeypox Memes, Pedo Pete Memes, Pride Month Memes, Sam Brinton Memes, Transgender Memes & Transwomen in Women's Sports Memes

RACEsteria

  • Black History Month Memes, Race Memes & Scott Adams Memes

RANDOM PSYOPs or NOISE

  • Australia Memes, British Memes, California Memes, Canada Memes & UFO Memes

RECESSION & INFLATION

  • Baby Formula Shortage Memes, Bank Collapse Memes, Digital Currency Memes, Egg Shortage Memes, High Gas Price Memes, Inflation Memes, Inflation Reduction Act Memes, Jim Cramer Memes & Recession Memes

RUSSIAsteria

  • Brittney Griner Memes, FTX Memes, General Milley Memes, Nord Stream Memes, Putin Memes, Russia Invades Ukraine Memes, Russia Memes, Ukraine Biolab Memes, Ukraine Corruption Memes, Ukraine Hypocrisy Memes, Ukraine Nazi Memes, WW3 Memes & Zelensky Memes

VACCINEs

  • Damar Hamlin Memes, Died Suddenly Memes, Moderna Memes, Novak Djokovic Memes, Pfizer Memes, Sudden Adult Death Syndrome Memes, Vaccine Booster Memes, Vaccine Hesitancy Memes, Vaccine Karma Memes, Vaccine Memes, Vaccine Passport Memes & Vaccine Side Effect Memes

VIDEOs

  • Alex Stein Videos, Awaken With JP Videos, Satire Videos & Steve Inman Videos

WOKE CORPORATIONs & ORGANIZATIONs

  • Balenciaga Memes, DuckDuckGo Hypocrisy Memes, Big Tech Memes, Bud Light Memes, Hollywood Memes, Miller Light Memes, Netflix Memes, Super Bowl Memes, Woke Corporations, Woke Disney Memes, Woke Military Memes & Woke Target Memes

COVIDsteria: An Oral History of America’s Great Reset (Table of Contents) is a fictional satire along the lines of a Studs Terkel oral history or Max Brooks' World War Z published as a serialized book on Substack while Tales From the Great Reset is our occasional satirical short-story series and BREAD&CIRCUSES posts are weekly humor roundups. In addition, check out our Community + Links to Alternative COVID & Great Reset Resources...

Share

Leave a comment

Share COVIDsteria + Tales From the Great Reset

COVIDsteria Table of Contents

Links to Alternative News/Resources

Disclaimers & Trigger Warnings

28
6
Share
6 Comments
Unacceptable DebMG
Aug 1, 2022

14. Being an extremely healthy Canadian doctor who engages in regular exercise such as jogging or swimming.

Expand full comment
Reply
2 replies
Brandon is not your bro
Jan 12

https://www.thehealthsite.com/diseases-conditions/study-finds-potentially-deadly-condition-that-could-kill-open-water-swimmers-942597/

Expand full comment
Reply
2 replies by Citizen Satirist (CS) and others
4 more comments…
Top
New
Community

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Citizen Satirist (CS)
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing